The process
Five stages. No shortcuts through any of them.
A Kinora search is slow by design. Here is exactly what happens, in order, so you know what you are agreeing to before you apply.
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Application
You write to us: who you are, the life you have built, and the partner you are hoping to find. It is short, and it is read by a matchmaker rather than sorted by software. We reply either way, usually within five working days.
What we need from you: candour over polish. We are not scoring the writing.
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The private interview
If we think we can help, we meet — in person where possible, otherwise by video. Expect ninety minutes or more. We will ask about your history, your family, your work, your last serious relationship and why it ended, and what you are unwilling to compromise on. It is a searching conversation, and it is meant to be.
What we need from you: an honest account, including the parts that are hard to say out loud.
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Curation & search
Your matchmaker begins working. We look first within our membership, then well outside it — through our own networks and, where a search calls for it, discreet direct outreach on your behalf. Every candidate is met and vetted by us before their name ever reaches you.
What we need from you: patience. Good searches are measured in months, not weeks.
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The introduction
When we are confident, we tell each of you about the other and why we thought of them — honestly, including anything you ought to know. If you both say yes, we arrange the meeting. One person at a time; never a shortlist to work through.
What we need from you: a real yes or a real no. Both are useful to us; neither offends.
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Accompaniment
We speak with you both afterwards, separately and frankly. What we learn sharpens the search. And if the relationship continues, we stay available through the early months — for the questions you would rather not take to friends.
What we need from you: your honest read, even when it is unflattering to us.
What we ask of you
The work only holds up if it runs in both directions.
- Candour. Tell us the difficult things early. We have heard them, and they are almost never the obstacle you expect.
- Availability. When we find someone worth meeting, be willing to clear an evening for it.
- Patience. We would rather leave you waiting than introduce you to someone we do not believe in.
- Exclusivity of attention. Not of your life — of your seriousness. This works poorly alongside an active rotation of apps.
Questions
The things people ask before applying.
How long does a search take?
Most searches run between six and eighteen months from interview to a relationship that lasts. Some resolve far sooner. We will give you a candid estimate after your interview, once we understand what you are asking for — and we will tell you plainly if we think it will be difficult.
Who else can see that I am a member?
No one. There is no profile, no directory, and members cannot browse or see one another. Information about you goes to one specific person, only when we are proposing an introduction, and only with your agreement.
What if an introduction doesn’t work?
That is an expected part of the process, not a failure of it. We debrief with you both, learn what the meeting revealed, and continue the search. Your engagement covers the search, not a fixed number of dates.
How does membership work?
Kinora works on a retained engagement for the duration of a search, with terms depending on its scope and the geography involved. We discuss it openly at the end of your interview, once we both know what the work would actually be — never before, and never as a condition of applying.
Do I have to be in a particular city?
No, though it shapes the search. Tell us where you live and where you would genuinely consider building a life; we will be honest about what that makes possible.
What if you decide not to take me on?
We will tell you directly and, where we can, say why. There is no charge for applying or for the conversations that lead up to a decision, and we will delete your file on request.